Humble Narcissism Volume III

It's that time, again! Four months already. How time flies. 

1. Last Beverage→ Tea! Nice and British.
2. Last phone call→ From my sister, cancelling my babysitting services tomorrow
3. Last text message→ From Anonymous: "OH GOD THEY'RE COMING FOR ME, PLEASE SAVE ME! THEY'RE... AHHH, THE PENGUINS ARE COMING AHHHHHH"
4. Last song→ That "four 'o' clock in the morning" song has just come on the radio. One of the great mysteries of life: what the hell is that song called?
5. Last time you cried→ I don't remember, but it's been a while

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Meh, yes, but I realise now that neither of us liked the other, because I was desperate and funny-looking and he will always be an unloveable fucktard
7. Been cheated on? → I don't know
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → Well, yes
9. Lost someone special?→ Lost, losing, I don't know. Yes.
10. Been depressed?→ Megadowned.
11. Been drunk?→ Yeah. Not for a while though. I feel a lash-up is in order, Anonymous.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Purple
13. Yellow
14. Bottle green

THIS YEAR (well, in the last four months, since completing this last) HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends → I have made a new friend! He's a drummer and he's cool.
16. Fallen out of love → Well, no, not really
17. Laughed until you cried → Less often
18. Met someone who changed you→ It's a bit of a bummer of a time of year. I haven't really met anyone new.
19. Found out who your true friends were→ Yes, yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ People always do. A very humbling pastime is to sit by yourself and realistically imagine what bad things people have to say about you, and work to reduce that, either by a) becoming perfect, or b) tightening your security.
21. Kissed anyone on your friends list→ What exactly is a "friends list"? Just, the people I'm friends with on Facebook? Then, yes
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → Most of them
23. How many kids do you want to have→ Pff. How should I know.
24. Do you have any pets → Bingo the disgruntled feline, Brutus the spiky cactus and Emily, his considerably punier daughter
25. Do you want to change your name→ I like my name, but, heh, I was thinking the other week how all writers have catchy names, and mine's just... inoffensive. I need to think up a megasuperawesome pseudonym.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Heh, got drunk.
27. What time did you wake up today → 1145.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Reading. What I was reading, I'm unwilling to digress because, um, it's embarrassing.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → I don't know. It's sad. I'm not looking forward to anything.
30. Last time you saw your father→ Earlier this evening. We watched Usain Bolt win the 200m sprint, like a boss.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life→ Just one? That's hardly fair.
32. What are you listening to right now → "I am your laaaady... and you are my ma-a-a-an..." Fucking terrible song, I don't know why I think Heart is going to improve its playlist any time within my lifetime. Oh, fucksake, it's just changed. "I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did, as long as you love meeee."Shut up! Fucking Backstreet Boys.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → I created a person called Tom the other day
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Backstreet Boys
36. Whats your Zodiac sign?→ Aquarius, but I could've been born under the hamster constellation for all the difference it'd make.
39. Male or female→ Uhh, ask the audience.
40. Elementary School→ Broughton CP, Mawsley Primary
41. Middle School → We don't have that
42. High school → Bishop Stopford, Woodbridge School, Fairly-gay High
43. Hair color → Ginger
44. Height→ I measured myself the other day, actually. Very badly, apparently, because I got 5'7", and I haven't been that short for years.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? → I don't know.
47. What do you like about yourself? → I have the courage to do what I want and, more often than not, I'm clever enough to do it. I hadn't thought of that until it was pointed out to me. I don't know if it's good or bad. Like you said, it can lead to greatness, or catastrophic downfall.
48. Piercings?→ Six. But one measures 6mm in diameter, which is gross.
49. Tattoos → None, sadly.
50. Righty or lefty → Right

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery → Giving blood, I guess. I'm giving my second donation tomorrow, help.
52. First piercing → Earlobes. I wonder if anyone ever gives a different answer to this. It seems that anyone who has any metal in their body at all started out with the lobes.
53. First tattoo→ No!
54. First best friend→ Danielle
55. First sport you joined → Running
56. First pet → Spider the utterly feral cat
57. First vacation remembered → Scotland, though they mostly merge into one until a couple of years ago
58. First concert → Big Gig, with the Girl Guides. I saw the Saturdays before they were massive, yeah.
59. First crush → In year five, there was a guy called Robert, who marked the beginning of a long line of wankers I was going to like from then on.
60. First alcoholic drink→ Eggnog, good old eggnog.

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Should I be eating?
62. Drinking → Cold tea
63. I'm about to → Change to BBC2
64. Listening to → Fucking adverts! Heart is shit!
65. Waiting for → Life to begin

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? → I don't want to be lonely
67. Want to get married? → Same answer. Maybe I'll just get married. Maybe I'll just have kids. Adopt or something. I can't see myself raising a child with someone else, says the naïve little seventeen-year-old who still has a teddy bear kicking around her room.
68. Careers in mind? → It's so wispy, but I want to write

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE [or same, whatever] SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes are good for seeing out of, but I don't think they're really all that beautiful. I mean, yeah, you get pretty eyes, but they're not what I first notice in a person. That thinking is kind of whimsical and, uh, dumb. So, lips.
70. Hugs or kisses → Just... affection.
71. Shorter or taller → It doesn't matter. Lanky, petite, gigantic, elfin, wheelchair-bound, winged, centaur, completely average - it's irrelevant.
72. Older or Younger → Provided it's not illegal, it doesn't matter.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Depends. There's a thin line between "romantic" and "creepy". For that reason, I suppose I prefer spontaneity - though now I think about it, there is literally no relation between "romantic" and "spontaneous". No kind of oxymoron or juxtaposition. They're just different things. It's like asking if someone prefers teaspoons or jelly. Silly questionnaire!
74. Long hair or Short? → Teehee, long. But I'm not fascist against short hair. Short hair is good. But I can plait long hair. Oh, such fun.
75. Tattoos or piercings→ Both, if it suits the person
76. Sensitive or loud → Bit of both is good
77. Hook-up or relationship→ I'm tired of the former
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Ugh, just, it depends on the person.

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → Yes, more than once, and it was bad, very bad and shut up.
80. Skipped class?→ Same answer, heh.
81. Lost glasses? → No, I've been quite good.
83. Broken someone's heart → Yes
84. Had your own heart broken → Yes
85. Been arrested?→ Yes, always
86. Turned someone down → Yes
87. Cried when someone died → Not anyone real
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → Well. Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → I want to
90. Miracles → Ugh. I don't know.
91. Love at first sight → No?
92. Heaven → So many questions
93. Santa Claus → No. Never did, actually.
94. Kissing on the first date? → Yeah, why not.
95. Angels → I don't know

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes, but it wouldn't achieve anything, and so there is no point
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → No
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? → Provided the sex and conversation stay fresh, of course.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → Oxygen
100. [OWN QUESTION]: Who let the dogs out? → Kit Harington, the bad boy.