Sigh

It's a strange place to be, here, where I am, in whatever sense you want "here" to mean. On the outside it feels like I'm floating from day to day in this weird little bubble of getting by (which I'm slowly getting better at), working and reading and talking and writing and sleeping and still being a little bit ill while out there, in the world outside of mine, is a whole planet and more of stuff that I'm still yet to discover. Time and space might be off-limits to me, but I'll be damned if I go my life without seeing what Planet Earth can show me, because for all its flaws, it's still pretty incredible.

Mount Rushmore, South Dakota

The Scottish Highlands

Copenhagen, Denmark

Lake Titicaca, Peru

Maracas Waterfall, Trinidad

Tokyo, Japan

Patagonia, Argentina

Easter Island, South Pacific Ocean

Lake Panajachel, Guatemala

Mount Rushmore ( )

The Highlands (x)

Copenhagen ( )

Lake Titicaca ( )

Maracas Waterfall ( )

Tokyo ( )

Patagonia ( )

Easter Island ( )

Lake Panajachel ( )

One down, longing sigh.

Inside, as in, inside my conceited little mind, things are even less lucid. While my body is going through the motions, my head is an assortment of random fruits in a blender, that could either turn out to be the most delicious smoothie in the world or a black, disgusting poison, and there's a finger hovering over the "blend" button, wanting to see how the experiment will turn out but also wary, so very wary, of which way it's going to go. I'm scared, I'm really scared. This life, this future that I've decided to pursue - I hate how uncertain it is. If I wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer and I didn't make it, I've still got med/law studies under my belt and that's fuckin' impressive! However if I completely fail as a writer then I'll just end up the frustrated thirtysomething with a dead-end office job and a degree in creative writing. See my point?

"You will soon find that the world is less strange than you think, but that people are more so." I'm really grateful to the brains behind that quote, and I feel really privileged to know him, in an endlessly-awkward, completely secret kind of way. I wish I could thank him.