Have some emotion

Ugh! Damn constraints of ability! Why oh why oh why can't I inject the emotion I want, the emotion I can feel but can't put into words, into this story I'm working on? Nothing frustrates me more than my own inarticulate idiocy. This is a really tender, heartbreaking climax, and I can't write it. Yet. I will, though. It's the first story I've worked on with what I'd call an unsatisfying ending - because it's not always about giving the reader what they want. Example. I find everything about Atonement enraging because it's unsatisfying - but it's stuck with me, and not for all the wrong reasons. Well, I don't like Ian McEwan, I think everything he writes is bollocks - sentimental, idealistic, pathetic bollocks - but Atonement as a plot is clever because it doesn't go down in a delightful way with a spoonful of sugar. It jars somewhere between the reader or viewer's heart and conscience and fucking stays there. So as annoying as his writing is, I have taken heed his pretentious, long-winded message, and I am experimenting with a genre of fiction I don't think has a name yet, other than "annoying, pretentious, long-winded and unsatisfying". In a good way.

Here's a song: Darling Nikki, Prince. Filth. A song about a female sex fiend-dominatrix with special toys. Astonishing. [You probably can't find it on Youtube because Prince is an artist who refuses to be taken advantage of, so none of his stuff is available for free, but there are various covers which are worth checking out.]

Finished watching Sherlock earlier. Reichenbach Fall, OH MY GOODNESS tears everywhere. Have I mentioned yet that filming for series three begins in January next year? So it won't even be aired for at least another eighteen months? More tears. So many questions. How! How did you do it! Why are you letting John sink in his own grief! How come you're wearing the same clothes you died in! Why does the insignificance I feel in comparison to just your collarbones keep me awake at night! What did you need Molly to do! When are you going to fall in love! Pretty please can it be with me! Ohh.