You know what else?

And I don't know how much of this I can blame on you but I sure as hell wasn't this easily distracted before I began to wonder if you were planning on speaking to me any time soon, any time at all

I can't focus on anything. I can't be bothered. Why should I be? Apparently I'm so unbearable that the best I deserve is a promised wish to still be good friends, swiftly followed by a silence that I hate more than being told that I'm clingy, and weird, and too intense, and volatile, and rubbish at giving head, and embarrassing to be around, and useless at talking cars or money - silence doesn't give me a chance to improve. It's not even a starting point.

And worst of all is that I don't even know if I'm being unforgivably selfish, or if you are.

It's amazing how four weeks of silence can drag when the five months preceding it seem to have flown by